Part 45

Whether battling armed toddlers or freeing giant lizards there is always time to stop and smell the roses. And then steal them.

It's been awhile since we did a journal check, what kind of crap have I picked up lately. Other than the piles of crap, obviously

Note the commentary on the throg drink. That way if I die and a throg gets hold of my diary he will hopefully shit himself in anger or vomit blood in sadness. Either one would be good, but both at the same time would make it all worthwhile

So those flowers aren't the regular rose but are instead the rose's snooty aristocrat cousin, the primrose. Reminds me of a joke I heard once that was almost as long as it was unfunny

Here's a little bit o' minor narrative incongruity for you: the claim was made that to get the key I was going to have to find a Shaman and beat the key out of him like the truth from a truant schoolboy, yet here it is sitting in an unguarded chest. Prophecy, negated

Finally, an Armour spell for me and my insect kin. Now all that's left is the naming

Oh ho ho so topical. Eat your heart out, Conan! Not hack late night tv comedian Conan, fellow adventurer Conan. "By Krom" just never did catch on did it my muscle bound short pants wearing friend

This rock formation sticks out like a sore thumb. Either there are seperatists about or this is the rock that dwarf smith was jonesing for

I hope this is enough. If he says it's not, I'll offer to stick it inside him and see if it's big enough then

Looks like this is the end I should attack first, if the need should ever arise

I most certainly did, just adopt the "cup the balls" position and prepare to receive

Come on now, I was really looking forward to seeing the awesome intricacies of the dwarven smith shop, with all the metal heating and hitting hot metal with other metal and the whatnot.

This guy's more security conscious than anyone else I've encountered yet. Seriously buddy, no one is that interested in your little four square slice of hell

Good thing it can still function without toilets, women, beds, or basic amenities

Ok, but be careful. There's a very angry dragon waiting on the other side for that key and I kind of want to look cool. Maybe someday I'll get to hope on for a skyride, and maybe bring that bitch Atreyu and his flying dog down a peg or two

Thanks Sardin. Now that I no longer need you, I feel I can broach this topic with you. Your name sucks, your work area sucks, and frankly your attitude sucks. I hope very much you learn how to not suck, or failing that, I hope you die alone and unloved just like Farley is probably doing right now

Vermatrix is going to be so happy she'll shit a brick! Of gold, I hope!